28 Things You Should Know Before Having Sex

There are so many things to know before having sex, so here is some hard-learned wisdom from the Mauj team, our collaborators, our community, and beyond.

1. You don't owe sex to anyone. 

2. Lube is your friend. Apply generously. 

 

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3. It's not supposed to hurt. 

4. You're probably not going to bleed. And if you do, it's probably not your hymen.

5. No one will be able to tell you've had sex. It won't be written on your face and your body is not going to visibly change. 

6. 75% of women require clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, so only 25% will come from penetration alone. Don't ignore your clit!

 

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7. No one is going to notice the patch of cellulite on your thigh.

8. There is a right way and a wrong way to wear a condom. Look it up. 

9. You can get pregnant if you have sex on your period if you have a shorter cycle. 

10. Protection is your responsibility and STIs are more common than you think. There's nothing shameful about wanting to protect yourself. Research contraceptives and choose the one that's right for you. And bring your own condoms. 

11. You have a right to say no and to stop at any point, even if you've already started having sex. 

12. Porn lied to you. So did Hollywood. 

13. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. It can take longer for women to get aroused than it does for men, so don't jump right into penetration. It will also help you get more comfortable and familiar with your partner and each other's bodies. 

14. Sex can mean different things for different people. It is not synonymous with penetrative sex, and first-time sex does not have to be the first time your vagina is penetrated by a penis.

15. Peeing after sex can help reduce the chances of getting a urinary tract infection. 

16. It’s not always going to be mind blowing and that’s okay.

17. Don't fake your orgasms. 

18. Great sex isn't natural; it's learned. It only gets better with time. 

19. A fanny fart is called a queef and it's caused by air moving out of your vagina. It's totally normal and not the end of the world. On that note, a normal fart is not the end of the world either. 

20.  You might not have an orgasm, and that's fine. Orgasms are not necessarily as easy as they look on TV or in porn. 

21. Don't just base how good sex was on how much your partner enjoyed it or whether or not they had an orgasm. You have as much of a right to pleasure as your partner does. Sex should be good for both of you. 

22. There's nothing about sex you can't discuss. 

23. Vulvas come in many shapes, sizes, and colors, and yours is totally normal. And if anyone makes you feel otherwise, they're not welcome inside. 

24. Shower sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be most of the time.

25. Virginity is a social construct and has nothing to do with your worth. 

26. If something says “tingly sensation” on the label, it's going to burn. Leave it on the shelf.

27. If you knee them in the face, or you fart, or your dog starts howling, laugh it off. Sex doesn't have to be so serious. 

28. If you don't use protection, there is a high chance you will get pregnant.

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