Ask These 6 Questions for Better Sex

As we find our way between the traditional expectations and barriers imposed on us and our own desires for intimacy and pleasure, it’s important to remember the power of open conversations. 

Talking about what we like, our boundaries, and our fantasies can bring us closer to our partners, both emotionally and physically, and empower us to take back control of our own sexuality. 

You can start with simple questions that will help you open up slowly to each other and find ways to take the conversation to a deeper level. Here are some prompts you can try today.

1. What makes you feel closer to me during sex?

Invite your partner to reflect on the emotional aspects of your intimate moments together to understand what actions, words, or gestures strengthen your bond. For example, you might say, “I feel closer to you when we look into each other’s eyes,” or “When we take our time and really focus on each other, I feel more connected.”

2. Is there anything new you want to try?

Invite yourself and your partner to share any curiosities or desires you might’ve been hesitant to express. An answer could be, "I've always wanted to try using candles to set the mood," or "What about trying a new position we read about together?"

3. What’s your best memory of us being intimate?

This is a great question because it can help remind you of what you cherish the most about your relationship. At the same time, it can give you ideas for what to focus on in the future. You might talk about the strong passion you felt during a special anniversary, or a cozy night where you cuddled until you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

4. What are your sexual fantasies?

Sharing fantasies is a great way to understand each other’s deeper desires. An answer could be, “I’ve always fantasized about a romantic getaway where we can be alone on the beach,” or “I think about us trying role play.”

5. What’s something I do that you love?

Positive reinforcement is powerful. It can boost your confidence and give you a space to acknowledge each other’s efforts. For example, “I love it when you whisper in my ear,” or “When you send me flirty texts during the day, it really turns me on.”

6. What are you not comfortable with?

Discussing and rediscussing your boundaries is equally as important as talking about your desires. An answer could be, “I’m not comfortable with anything too rough,” or “I don’t like it when I can’t see your face.”

Remember 

It’s totally okay to seek pleasure in your relationships. Talking about things like intimacy and sexuality is just as important as any other part of being together. You, and your partner, deserve to feel seen, heard, and…satisfied! 😉

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