PSA: Not All Women Bleed The First Time

Here’s a simple truth: not all women bleed the first time they have sex.

Many of us spend the first part of our lives worrying about accidentally “breaking our hymen.” This fear can prevent us from participating in various activities, taking care of our vaginal hygiene, or getting important medical tests.

Even more frustrating is the fact that we might hesitate to ask for clarification because others could perceive it as an admission of guilt or judge us for it. This makes it difficult to seek the understanding and support we need.

We’re here to tell you that bleeding—or not bleeding—after first-time sex has nothing to do with your value, purity, or morality. There are many reasons why you might not bleed, and understanding these reasons can help reduce the pressure.

First, what exactly causes some women to bleed after first time sex?

Bleeding after your first time is understood as the tearing of the hymen, a thin membrane located at the entrance of the vagina. However, while the hymen can tear or stretch during penetration, resulting in slight bleeding, it's important to note that not all women experience bleeding when they have sex for the first time, and bleeding is not a reliable indicator of "virginity" or sexual activity for multiple reasons.

What's more, the hymen is a membrane with relatively few blood vessels that — even if torn — may not bleed significantly. In fact, the bleeding sometimes observed after a woman's first time is likely to be caused by micro-tears in the vaginal wall as a result of insufficient arousal or lubrication.

What might cause some women not to bleed after the first time?

1. They might have minimal hymenal tissue to begin with.

Here’s a fun fact: not all women are born with the same amount of hymenal tissue, which can vary greatly from woman to woman. For some, it’s barely there at all, which means there’s less chance for it to tear or cause bleeding during first-time sex.

2. An elastic hymen can stretch without tearing.

During sexual arousal and penetration, an elastic hymen stretches to allow for penetration while maintaining its integrity. This means that even with penetration, the hymen can remain intact and not tear and cause bleeding.

3. Past physical activities might have stretched or affected the hymen.

Activities such as using tampons or participating in sports like cycling, horseback riding, or even yoga can all stretch or cause tears in the hymen long before any sexual activity. 

4. Hormonal Factors might be at play.

Hormonal factors, particularly changes in estrogen levels during puberty, menstruation, and stress, can influence the elasticity and thickness of the hymen. These hormonal changes can affect the hymen, contributing to the variability in experiences among women.

5. Adequate foreplay and lubrication may prevent tearing.

Sufficient foreplay plays a crucial role in preparing your body for intercourse. It allows time for arousal and natural lubrication to occur, which helps to lubricate the vaginal canal and reduce friction during penetration, making the experience smoother and more comfortable. Without enough lubrication, some women may experience tears in the vaginal walls causing bleeding, especially if they are feeling anxious and tightening up, which is common during first sexual experiences.

Remember

Virginity is NOT a medical or scientific term, and your hymen is not an indication of your sexual activity. If you’d like to learn more, read the below resources:

1. 4 Ways the Virginity Myth Is Harming Us
2. How Do I Know If I'm a Virgin
3. 8 Facts You Need to Know About the Hymen
4. 28 Things You Should Know Before Having Sex

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